oh man, people, i look disgusting when i'm not raw. why didn't anybody ever say anything?

seriously-raw is the right thing to do [for me], right now. i need to do it. i realized something interesting today- either i can eat the pain away [this doesn't happen you know; you just quell the pain for a while, but it comes back, and when it comes back, it's angry at you for ignoring it and feeding it plutonium], or i can deal with the pain right now. and it will suck. a lot. but it'll be better to deal with it now, and calm down, then later. metaphor for paper? do it now. or don't do it, feel bad about not doing it, and then suffer 3x later. okay, off to work.

a very nice old man just sat down across from me. i think he's a professor. he's adorable. i miss my grandpa.

so raw thing-i'm just going to do it. it's going to be hell sometimes-but i'm going to do it, resist, fight, not give in. just like i'm about to do my paper...